no.

i don’t want it. but yes i do.

i count and i worry. then i practice and i feel better. here. not tomorrow. just now.

then it starts.

the snake is eating itself once again.

November/29th/2012/I have been blessed with a curse.

i have just discovered joy division. i have just discovered the new era of my life.

thinking can be very dangerous. it can lead to new insights when you would have just rather been left stupid and dumb in the dark. be careful what you wish for.

having something can leave you with nothing. 

love doesn’t hurt but the absence of it is horrific. 

a memory can be burned fiercely into your mind, enjoy forever.

the phantom sensation of a hand on your body affirms your loneliness.

when all else fails clutch to words invented by others that help you relate and connect to your heartache. 

ingrid magnussen goes on: Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I’ve told you nobody becomes an artist unless they have to. 

heres to art.